I am a nurse, a newborn nursery nurse. I have had some wonderful teachers before, during and after nursing school. I LOVE my job! These little babies have crept into my heart and I love taking care of them. I am excited each time a new little person appears and takes her first breath. I feel the adrenaline rush when that breath doesn't come and I know what to do. I read a lot about my field of nursing. I keep current of research and trends. I like learning and I take my job very seriously. I know the trust people place in my hands when their newborn is healthy and I take care of them. How much more so when their newborn is sick and I take care of them. I want parents to know that I am a mother as well as a nurse, and I will treat their precious babies with as much respect as I can.
Having said that, some days are very frustrating to me. I was called to a birth where we expected trouble. From my station in the room, I could not view the actual birth. When I asked if there was meconium present (so that I could provide the appropriate care), the doctor delivering the infant asked "Are you blind?" This was witnessed by at least seven staff members, another doctor, and of course the patient and her significant other.
Am I blind? No, doctor. I am not. Nor am I deaf or stupid. I am, however, angry and disappointed. I gave you the respect I thought you deserved. In return you belittled me to make yourself feel better. I do not care what kind of day you are having, as you obviously do not care about mine.
My first experience in the field of birth was to support women through their experience as a doula. In our training, we learned to be carekeepers of a woman's experience. We learned to be careful about each and every syllable uttered during a birth, because while women may forget many things during a lifetime, they never forget their birth experiences. They remember everything.
Well, I hope this woman's birth memories are not marred by callousness. I hope she instead remembers the moment I held her newborn close to her face so that she could kiss him for a brief moment. I hope that is what sticks in her memory long after the smells of birth are gone and she is home snuggling with her baby.
So, am I blind? No, I think I'm seeing more clearly now than ever.
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